There Are Only 9 Things You Need to Know about Dating a Mormon

Two Mormons drinking apple cider

Dating a Mormon can be complicated! Lucky for you we have compiled 9 crucial tips for taking a Mormon out on a date. 

1. Mormons don’t date until age 16: You can forget about asking out that 13 or 14 year-old. It just isn’t going to happen.

2. Mormons date in groups. Mormons socialize and even mate in groups. It’s best you plan your date to include a minimum of 15 people.

3. Prayer before meals. All Mormons pray before eating, especially in public places. Especially faithful Mormons even pray before chewing a stick of gum. It’s best to discuss the prayers before you go out. The last thing you want is to get the words wrong!

4. Be prepared to talk religion. Most Mormons want to discuss their religion constantly. You’ll score major points if you can say positive things about Mormonism and negative things about other religions. (And if you really want to score points, insist on baptism that very night. It’s always a winner!)

5. No alcohol, coffee, tea, caffeinated drinks. Mormons try to avoid almost all beverages. In fact, Mormon children are trained to go days without liquid refreshment of any kind. Soda water is sometimes okay (mostly for urban Mormons). It’s probably best not to order any drinks at all on your dates, just to be safe.

6. No movies of questionable content. You might have heard that Mormons don’t watch R-rated movies. That’s true, but movies with any questionable content will offend your Mormon date. The quality of content is subjective, and even disagreeing with it might be construed as unfaithfulness on your part. Skip the movies if you’re interested in dating a Mormon! (And no plays; same principle).

7. The Law of Chastity. Mormons don’t have sex before marriage. But even certain kinds of physical contact might be considered sexual. Again, the criteria for this is subjective (see #6), and trying to negotiate this might be seen itself as a form of sexual contact. Best to avoid all contact altogether. If you even want to hug or kiss your date, marry them first, and see how things go from there.

8. The Temple. No Mormon will consider a date successful until you drive by a Mormon temple, looking at it fondly and/or wistfully. Make sure you incorporate a little temple-drive-by for dating success.

9. Modesty. Modesty is extremely important to Mormons. Women: The rule is Chin-to-ankle; you should wear something that extends from your chin to your ankles. Mumus are especially effective (and comfy!) here. Men: Just don’t dress sloppily.

And that’s it! Just follow these 9 simple rules and dating a Mormon will be as easy as apple pie! (Which you shouldn’t prepare with fermented apples, obviously).