The key to a successful marriage is complete disregard for self, to the extent that you virtually become your husband’s legal property. If you can put your spouse’s needs completely above your own, so much so that you make becoming his lawful possession more or less a reality, your marriage will flourish. In fact, you’ll find that your own desires won’t even exist, at least not in a legal sense. The desire to fulfill every one of your husband’s potentially endless needs is in no way submitting yourself to an inferior role as a wife, because if you are essentially his property you are in no way in the same constitutional category as him anyway. If you truly love your spouse and submit to him so absolutely that to disobey him would be tantamount to meriting state-sanctioned criminal punishment, then you naturally want to make him happy. Men discover these five things generally make them happy when they understand you are their chattel — It’s simple as that!
Recreational, husband-centric companionship
Sure you like to do some things on your own, like beautify your home or attend unceasingly to your children’s wants and needs, but when you spend time with your spouse doing what he likes, it’s just a win-win. Spending the evening golfing, or watching the television shows he wants to watch, or cheering on his Fantasy Football selections might not be something you would have always chosen if you didn’t perceive yourself as little more than a possession that could technically be exchanged for goods and services, but you rightly see yourself that way because you want your marriage to succeed, so envisioning alternative scenarios in which you are not his property is a pointless exercise. Your husband will quickly realize that only what he wants to do really matters, and he will love being married to you all the more for it.
Mandatory male sexual fulfillment
You might have noticed that you have (almost purely reproductive) sexual desires, but imagine what it would feel like to have sexual desires that actually matter in a legally obligatory way! If you can imagine that, then you can understand a little of what it might be like to be a man, and your solemn responsibility as his most treasured possession to help him meet these obligations. Remember that men’s sexual desires are God-given and therefore can only be controlled by God. Do not expect your husband to have any power over his own impulses and cravings. Once your husband sees your willingness to be an ever-available receptacle for anything he could potentially desire, a whole world of possibilities he never considered before will be open to his view.
Lavish, unrestrained admiration
Any effort your husband puts into anything demands immediate and effusive gratitude. This is something you couldn’t possibly forget to do if you take careful and rigorous measures to–in all but name only–become his legal movable property. Remember that every expenditure of energy that benefits anyone but him–no matter how small or seemingly insignificant–is a grace bestowed on you and your family by a merciful and long-suffering provider. Remember, if he ever senses any kind of mutual obligation in your relationship, then you’ll only have yourself to blame for the eventual and inevitable dissolution of your marriage. After all, it’s just not true that your contributions are equal to his, considering how much you benefit from his hard work, and the fact that you are but one component of your husband’s estate. Husbands are always grateful and humbled to discover how the world would be utterly devoid of joy and meaning and all living things would grotesquely suffer without them.
Domestic support (where possible)
A household is a large and complicated thing to manage, and in healthy relationships both spouses should be responsible for its maintenance. Your husband is, of course, very busy with many important things that make household management look like having a tea party–things you couldn’t possibly understand or succeed in–but he should still be doing his part around the house. That will usually mean that you handle all the cleaning, cooking, laundry, household repairs, garbage disposal, and lawn maintenance, and leave the rest for him to do when he has a brief respite from the far more important things he does apart from easy domestic chores. By doing this, your man will quickly discover that some things are just more important and fulfilling than others, and that he’s the one that should do these things.
A constantly visually pleasing spouse
Comfortable clothes are nice, but you must really despise your husband if you would allow the photoreceptor cells in his eyes to absorb the image of you in casual wear for even one second.
Do you love your husband? Are you grateful for his constant toil and sacrifice to put food on the table, a roof over your head, a reasonable allowance for occasional feminine trinkets, and the only reason for your continued existence? Then his eyes should never be burdened by anything less than sexy form-fitting dresses, high heels, and lingerie, even when you are ill and can barely make it to the bathroom in time. Of course this means staying in top shape for your man. Whenever you’re tempted to add a sprinkle too many of cayenne pepper to your lemon juice cleanse, remember this pithy but important little rhyme: “Size zero you’re the hero; Size one still having fun; Size Two, why do you hate your husband so much?” By focusing intensely on your own attractiveness, careful to never lazily think there is an upper limit to how much you must visually please him, your status as basically the most important of his personal effects will be secure. And he will discover that he should never have to look at, interact with, or even consider a woman who does not hold his arousal as the highest of priorities.
Examining these five needs and how you probably do not measure up is a great way to look deeper into your marriage to determine your worth as more or less your husband’s personal property. Armed with that knowledge, you can plan to effect an increase in your market value to remain competitive with his other holdings and assets. Even if your marriage is complete bliss, when one spouse attends entirely to the other’s needs at the expense of her own, the marriage can only become more and more viable. More importantly, men will discover that they have fundamental, primitive, insatiable needs they never knew they had to have before.